A chance to shine

When you attend a funeral, you are there not only because someone you’ve known and loved has died, but also – most importantly – because they lived. And when, like me, your days are spent creating funeral ceremonies and sharing life stories, you realise that, sadly, some lives are much happier than others. 

I remember doing a service for an elderly gentlemen who's family had banished him to an institution at the age of nine for having learning disabilities. He was told he'd only be staying for two weeks; he was there for 50 years. Thankfully the care, love and kindness that had been missing throughout most of his life was present during his final years, thanks to a compassionate niece and the dedicated nursing staff at the care home she found for him. And this was the focus for our ceremony.

When it comes to life, we all experience the good and the bad, the dark and the light, the happy and the sad. When it comes to funerals, we have to find ways to shine a light on every life lived, even those who seem never to have emerged from the shade. It's a challenge at times – you want an honest reflection of a life but without dwelling on the sadness. But for me, the darker the life, the more determined I am to find the positives, and to give them their day in the sun…